


Let Me Go

by Vegorott



Series: Danti One-Shots [3]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, angst with fluff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 12:16:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13213575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vegorott/pseuds/Vegorott
Summary: Anti know he’s a monster. That’s he’s useless, pathetic and alone and just wants all of those emotions to stop and go away.





	Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> A Tumblr user named watermelonsinmyattic wanted me to hurt their feels, welp...here’s some pain

“Hey, Marvy, what’cha doing?” Anti sang as he leaned over Marvin’s shoulder, seeing that he was reading a magic book. 

“I’m trying to perfect my invisibility spell,” Marvin stated. 

“I feel like if you took off your mask it’d be like a Superman effect and no one would know that it was you.” Anti grabbed the ears of Marvin’s mask. 

“Anti!” Marvin slipped away and hugged the book to his chest. 

“You know I wouldn’t do that, I’m only teasing.” Anti said with a chuckle. “Unless you got an ugly mark or something that you’re covering.” 

“Then you should be the one wearing the mask if it’s used to cover something ugly.” Marvin huffed before leaving. 

“Rude!” Anti called after him. “Schneepy!” Anti hopped over to the doctor when he saw him passing by. “What are you up to?” 

“I’m off to rest.” Dr. Schneepelstein stated.

“That’s boring.” Anti pouted.

“Well, some of us actually do things in this house besides lay around and bother others.” Anti stopped and slumped. “Rude.” He muttered under his breath. 

“I’ll be back.” Chase said as he headed for the front door. 

“Chase, baby!” Anti clapped his hands and ran over to Chase. “What’s my main man up to today?” 

“I’m visiting the kids.” Chase answered. 

“Can I come?” Anti perked up with excitement. 

“I...I don’t think you should, dude.” Chase rubbed the back of his head. 

“Why not?” Anti’s face dropped. 

“Your ears are pointed.” Chase pointed at his own. 

“So? I can wear a hat?” 

“Your teeth are sharp and your eyes are green and there’s a giant red scar across your neck and…” Chase sighed. “My kids would be scared of you and I don’t want to do that to them.” Chase patted Anti’s shoulder. “You understand right? They’re young, they get scared easily.” 

“Yeah...I understand.” Anti looked at the ground while Chase left the house. 

He was alone. 

He was always alone.

Anti slowly walked to the kitchen, brain going to places it should never go. But he couldn’t stop it. He used to be so close with everyone. They would all be more than willing to do things with him, from going out to just chilling in a room, no one minded. Something happened that changed all of that. Anti felt useless, worthless, unneeded. What if he wasn’t here anymore? Would anyone care? Would anyone even notice?  

_ Quit being a hassle for everyone! _

Dark’s voice from over a month ago rang in his head. That was when these thoughts started to get to him. He was a hassle. He was a nuisance. No one cared. It was just a simple argument with Dark. Anti had crashed one of the Iplier meetings and Dark wasn’t the happiest about it and those words came out of his mouth. Anti’s heard worse in his life, he’s said much worse, but for some reason, it actually hurt him to hear that. Anti had a feeling for why it did, but he refused to believe it. 

Anti pulled open one of the drawers and took out one of the large kitchen knives. 

Why couldn’t he be like everyone else? Why was he the only virus? Why couldn’t he take a normal form like the other Septiceye egos? They all looked like normal human beings, but Anti was a monster. He scared children. He made men run in fear and women cry with just his appearance. Blending in wasn’t his strong suit. He was a murder, a psycho, he loved the feeling of someone’s life seeping through his fingers. Maybe he shouldn’t be here. 

Anti gripped the handle of the knife and turned the blade towards himself, aiming for his chest. 

Just, one movement. One more stab and he’d be done. He could escape. He could get away from all of these thoughts and feelings that he just hated with his core. He never wanted to care. He never wanted to feel hurt. Physical pain was nothing but a broken heart was the worst feeling in the world. 

“Goodbye.” Anti was about to move his arms when he heard his name being yelled and hands went over his own. The knife was torn away from him and thrown across the room. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” The voice went unheard as Anti tried to go for the knife. He needed to do this. He needed the pain to end. “Anti!” Arms went around him. 

“Let me go! Just let me go!” Anti screamed, struggling against the one holding him. “Just let me die! Let me die!” 

“Stop that!” Anti ended up slipping and falling to the ground, taking the other man with him. 

“I’m nothing! I’m fucking nothing! I’m just a fucking glitch that gets in everyone’s way!” Anti cried. “I’m worthless! I’m pathetic! I’m just a hassle for everyone!” Anti felt the arms hold him tighter. 

“You’re not-”

“I’m a fucking killer! I kill people and enjoy it! I end their lives for money that I don’t even need!” Anti was sobbing at this point. “I’m broken! I’m a broken piece of shit that needs to be destroyed! Just kill me! Fucking kill me!” Anti was still trying to break free. 

“I’m not letting you do that!” The man sat on his rear and wrapped his legs around Anti’s waist from behind, using his weight to keep him down. 

“You even said it yourself! I’m a hassle, Dark!” Anti’s body glitched, weakening him for a moment which allowed Dark to flip him over, pinning him to the ground. 

“You know damn well that I didn’t mean that!” Dark said, that fear and worry on his face going unnoticed by Anti. 

“Yes, you did! Everyone means it! Everyone thinks I’m a terrible thing! No one cares! No one will ever care!” Anti managed to shove Dark off of him and he scrambled to his feet, going for the knife again. 

“Anti!” Dark went to his feet as well and caught Anti by the back of his shirt. He pulled the virus back and pressed him against the wall, holding his wrists against it so he could be pushed away again. “They care about you! You know they do!”

“I know you don’t care!” Anti screamed. 

“If I didn’t care then why am I here!?” Dark snapped. “Why am I going through so much to prevent you from hurting yourself!? Host told me that something was wrong and I immediately came to make sure that you were alright! Why would I do that if I didn’t care!?” 

“You just want to use me…” Anti spoke softly. “That’s what you do. You use people. I kill them. We’re both fucked up. But your people get to live.” 

“I...I don’t want to use you. I don’t want to hurt you.” Anti’s hands clenched. 

“You just don’t want me.” There was a long silence and Anti started to shake when he realized what he had said. He knew that Dark understood what that meant. Why was he so stupid? “I’m sorry…I-” Anti froze when Dark’s lips pressed against his. It was a quick kiss, just a simple peck but it was enough to break him. “No...no…” Anti was crying again. “Don’t do that to me, please. Please don’t do that!” Anti tried to yank his arms out of Dark’s grip. “Don’t do this to me! Don’t make me believe that you actually care for me! Don’t let me live on false hope! Don’t do this to me!” 

“Anti, Anti, listen.” Dark lowered his hands and held Anti’s face, making him look at him. 

“It already hurts so much. Don’t. Don’t, please.” Anti begged. “I already hate myself for having these stupid emotions, don’t make them hurt me more.” 

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay. I’m here for you. I’m here. I’m not leaving.” Anti sniffed once before wrapping his arms around Dark and began crying into his chest. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” Dark whispered as he held Anti, running one hand through his hair and the other along his back. 

“Is...is is safe?” Marvin called softly from his room. “Oh…” He picked up the knife that was laying on the floor. 

“Take all knives out of the kitchen.” Dark ordered. 

“Even the-”

“All of them.” Marvin nodded his head and went to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Anti’s voice was muffled.

“Don’t apologize. You’re fine. You’re safe. That’s what matters.” Dark kissed the top of Anti’s head. 

“Anything I can do?” Dr. Schneepelstein asked. 

“Can you get a glass of water?” Dark asked, watching as the doctor went to the kitchen as well. “I’ll stay here until you want me to leave, is that okay?” 

“Please don’t go.” Was Anti’s answer. 

“I won’t. I promise.” Dark ran his hand through Anti’s hair one more time. “I’m going to lift you, okay?” 

“Yeah.” Anti didn’t fight back as Dark adjusted his hand and picked Anti up, making sure that the virus was still able to keep his face tucked away. Dark knew that Anti didn’t want the others to see him cry, he was most likely internally scolding himself for doing it in front of Dark. 

“Do you mind bringing that into the room with us?” Dark asked Dr. Schneepelstein when the doctor went up to him with the water. 

“Of course.” Dr. Schneepelstein followed Dark as he carried Anti to his room. “Anti. I did not mean words to hurt you. I-” 

“I think later would be a good time to discuss this.” Dark interrupted Dr. Schneepelstein. 

“Oh...of course.” The doctor said before setting the glass down on the bedside table. “Get better, Anti.” He added before leaving. 

“I’m putting you down.” Dark warned before laying Anti on his bed. “What do you need?” Anti shuffled a little, looking as if he was uncomfortable making his request. “Tell me what you need and I’ll do it. No questions asked.” 

“Hold me?” Anti asked in a small voice, something Dark never expected from the usually very loud man. It was actually very adorable. Dark just smiled and crawled into the bed as well. He waited and allowed Anti to adjust himself so he was curled up against Dark’s chest, his hands were balled up and pressed against Dark and his legs were tucked up and wrapped around the other man’s. 

“You’re adorable.” Dark said as he laid his arm across Anti, closing his eyes.  

“Don’t ruin the moment.” 

“After some rest, I’ll start making some calls and you’ll start getting everything that you need as soon as possible.” 

“What?” Anti tilted his head up. 

“I refuse to let my boyfriend suffer. And I’ll be there every step of the way.” Dark opened one of his eyes and Anti found himself speechless. “You’re not the only one who’s been struggling with those kinds of feelings and I’m glad that you feel the same.” Dark chuckled and reclosed his eye. They weren’t closed long since Anti moved up and gave him a kiss. 

“Thank you.” Anti said before lowering his head back down. 

“I try.” Dark chuckled and hugged Anti against him, smiling a little more when Anti let out a hum and nuzzled himself against his chest, his hand sneaking around to rest on Dark’s waist. “I’m glad I didn’t let you go.” Dark whispered as he put his face into Anti’s hair and took in a deep breath before fully relaxing as well. Both of them slowly drifting off in each other’s arms. 


End file.
